Sunday night proved to be an interesting one. I woke up without any hangovers from the previous evening and decided to go visit Ella in Queens.
Now before I begin, the joke in our little group is that Ella is a magnet for all Irish guys. If there is an Irish guy within a 12 block radius, he’ll find Ella. With that said, she has amazing radar for irish pubs in Queens.
Sitting in the outdoor garden of one bar, we began discussing love, her relationship, past relationships and how it seems that our ages are really beginning to creep up on us.
As always, I would make rude comments on how my future husband has taken so long to get to me, he’d be lucky if I smile at him let alone touch me. She smiled and with a laugh asked,
“Do you ever wonder if this is why you’re single?”
Anyway, I retreated back inside to where the bar was located and immediately was distracted by this incredibly attractive Irish man. He was tall, amazing blue eyes and dark brown spiky hair. He looked like the boy band version of Pacey Witter aka Joshua Jackson from Dawson’s Creek.
So I did what any sober girl would do in that situation. I ordered my drink and hurried back outside to giggle and blush about with Ella.
She immediately suggested that we go in and try to talk to him and, after a little while, I decided we should at least go inside.
I chose a seat directly in front of the acquired target and sighed as I imagined how adorable he’d look holding my hand along the city streets.
…Then I noticed his friend.
His friend was actually more attractive in a boyish sort of way. I called him the love child of Jim Sturgees (the actor from “One Day” and “Across the Universe”) and Ryan Reynolds. Once again, I did what my sober self normally does; watch the lovableness of the guy and drool from a distance.
Poor Ella kept asking me if I just wanted her to go up and talk to him for me. I immediately declined that notion. Granted, I don’t know much about the man’s way of thinking (dear GOD why would you even want to tread in the mess of porn and idiotic behavior) but I know enough that no guy likes that.
That is when Vince came up to me. Vince was definitely not a Pacey, Jim or Ryan look-alike but he wasn’t UNATTRACTIVE. No, being unattractive wasn’t my slight problem with Vince. My caution was because he was DRUNK.
Drunken Vince kept asking me where I was from. He then declared how he thought he was in love already. He kept repeating how beautiful I was. All things a girl wants to hear…FROM A SOBER GUY!
Readers, be proud though. I kept an OPEN MIND and gave the drunken guy my number. Why not?!
All the while Ella looked on with amusement and excitement since it had been a while since a guy talked to me at a bar without me giving him the cold shoulder. So, being the amazing, superhero, fairytale princess that she is, the moment he left the table she went through his phone that he left with us.
Now, before everyone goes on a rant about a person’s privacy, let me explain. Vince decided to leave his phone with me so he can chat up some other girl sitting at the bar. He did tell me that was his friend that he left alone but…would you believe that? Then he’d disappear and, I’d assume it was to smoke but, he is a guy. To make a long story short, nothing incriminating was found in the phone.
While he was away, probably whoring himself because that’s what men do at this point, Ella gave me her instructions for this little experiment.
“If he calls you, you HAVE to go on at least ONE date with him. Even if it’s to get you out of your slump. It’s time.”
Then I started with my whole speech on how I was looking for husband material. There is no romantic story to tell here.
“It’s a date. You aren’t marrying him and if he calls you, you are going.”
Given the nature of the experiment, I knew it was for my own good that I agree. It’s time. It really is. How many nights can I spend angry and bitter over the past, right? The only way to get over the hurdle of thinking that all men are going to hurt me is to not take it so serious and have a sense of humor about this right?
About this time, Vince’s friend Corey sat down with us. Corey was more attractive than the look alike’s I mentioned above. Corey looked like the love child of Nick Carter and Jason Siegel and I cried a bit inside over not being able to flirt with him without looking like a whore.
He spoke to Ella for a bit and Vince stumbled back and started to ask me AGAIN why I didn’t have a boyfriend because I was so beautiful. I replied that maybe it’s because guys didn’t see me the way he does.
“What do you mean? I’m just looking at your face?”
Isn’t that sweet? Charming even! Wait for it…
“Unless they are just looking at your tits and are distracted. You’ve got amazing tits.”
The words of a poet.
We left after that, saying good-bye to honey worded Vince and Corey, with a lesson learned.
Maybe the guys worth talking to are the ones that don’t approach you. I know that I’m always saying that a man should be a man and all but, if he’s so comfortable with approaching girls, how often is he doing it?
With that said, it’s time I bite the bullet and start doing the approaching. Even if it kills me. Any advice here? How does a girl approach a guy? What does she even say?
By the way, I did get a text today from Vince asking if I remembered him. Then he said it was great meeting me and how he wanted to meet me again.
That was before, “I’ve been trying all day to remember your name. I’m sorry”.
One date isn’t going to kill me. I can do this. He may be an utter prince when he isn’t drunk.