This week was a very special week here in the Big Apple. A post on yelp called it “A Girl’s Favorite Holiday” This week was fleet week. The one week where a girl like me can try to find her very own Dear John.
I had researched the hell out of google to find out EXACTLY what places I could find a visiting navy man. I even made a schedule for my friends and I. Well, guess what?
All that planning, plotting, wardrobe changes and do you want to know how many numbers I got?
NONE! That’s right! Not a single one. Not one.
Thank GOD Ella and Madison were with me because the three of us and can turn a Sunday Service into a party of a lifetime.
However, the night wasn’t a complete washout as far as men go. I was visually stimulated by a few attractive guys in the greater New York City area. This is a very rare thing because, not only does New York seem to be the Holy Land for every liar, cheater, and loser, it is also the mecca for every physically challenged male from lands near and far.
Don’t get to excited though. One adorable, skinny tie wearing, blonde cutie pie was already making the moves on a cute blonde at the bar by the time we got there.
Two others were already sinking their adorable sailor claws in two lucky New York gals.
Don’t feel too bad though cause this lucky gal actually did get some male attention.
As the three of us were walking, this random guy announces how he wants to go wherever I’m going.
Yes, that is what every girl wants. Some random unattractive drunken mess yelling in the street about his desire to hang out with her.
Then, on the way to the train two guys, who wore their pants in the way Justin Bieber idolizes, decide to announce how
“I wouldn’t mind getting her pregnant.”
Dear God, is this my life now? Are these my choices? What is WRONG with men today? I really must be a jack ass magnet. Honestly, these men are lucky that they aren’t dogs because they’d be put out in the backyard so Little Timmy could shoot them and put them out of their misery.
I realize that I have to keep an open mind, a fact that Madison constantly reminds me. Yet, my mind can never be THAT open. Not even with the help of Jack Daniels.
Does anyone else attract men like this? If not, does anyone know the direct line to Cupid? He and I need to have a HUGE discussion on what he keeps sending me. At this point I don’t know what’s worse; being frustrated with online dating or being frustrated with face to face meetings of men.