Thursday was an interesting day and evening for me. I call it a “Classroom Day” because lessons seemed to be pouring in from the time I had breakfast till my Thirsty Thursday drink.
First came from my friend Carrie, the guru of all things romantic. The poor woman has had to deal with my ups, downs, breakdowns, hangovers due to downs, hangovers due to ups, and complaints about the lack of good men in society. After being out for two nights without being approached by a single male, she heard my most repeated statement,
“WHERE IS HE!? I’M EXHAUSTED!”
To this she replied with a smile,
“You’re only 27. You’re too young to be exhausted. However, it’s okay to take breaks! I know you’re on a mission but it’s okay to stay home to recharge.”
Lesson Number One: Going out six nights a week to try to find a guy will kill your bank account and your body.
Carrie then took it a step forward and sent me a link to relationship blog. Have you ever heard of Evan Katz? He is a dating coach and apparently a relationship genius because I sat at work in complete awe of what he was saying.
Lesson Number Two: Don’t wait for butterflies!!!
This is my problem. I’ve had butterflies before and I like them. I like the fluttering in my stomach, the nauseating feeling I get right before a big date, and the happy dance I do after an amazing good night kiss.
Apparently butterflies are full of trickery. Butterflies will make you think you are with “the One” when in all reality you are just with ‘The One” for July.
By the time my mandatory work day was over, I was more than ready to head out and meet some potential suitors. Adrianna sat a little table of an irish pub and took in the patrons. An hour later a sweet female patron begins making conversation with us and listens to the premise of my little experiment. When she asks me what my type is, even Adrianna is perplexed.
“Come to think of it, I don’t know what your type is!”
Truthfully, the more I thought about it, the more I didn’t know. All the guys I’ve dated wouldn’t be able to fit neatly into a category. There have been nerds, athletes, lost souls and mystery men. The only thing they all had in common was that none of them seemed to be bad guys at first.
They started off really sweet and then…
I declared that I just wanted someone kind-hearted and attractive. To this, our new friend replied,
“No you don’t! You’d get bored! What you need is a guy who is seemingly shady on the outside but really sweet on the inside.”
Lesson Number Three: Have a slight idea of what you are looking for.
As funny as it sounds, I think the prototype for the “ideal” would be a guy like Uncle Jesse from Full House. When the show started he was kind of a male whore who rode a Harley and loved his family very much. By the time it was over, he was a monogamous Harley riding dad of twins. Keep in mind, I am not married to this ideal but I wouldn’t mind it at all.
Now, earlier that day I was reading lizfruitberry’s comment one of my previous blogs. I think it was a very insightful comment about keeping an open mind when it comes to approaching guys because you never know who “The One” will be.
Lesson Number Four: Keep an open mind
Well, I kept that in mind when I approached these two guys. My target guy looked like a better looked Michael Cerra. He was even in a suit and we all know how I feel about a guy in a suit.
I HATE approaching guys. I do. It is the bane of this whole dating exercise. However, when I do, I usually go about it by asking them for their opinion on something.
“Hey, I’m sorry to bother you but my friend and I were having a debate on if guys like to be approached by girls better than doing the approaching…”
Lesson Number Five: Get a better way to approach a guy
It turns out that he immediately thought I was trying to get Adrianna an in. Then when I assured him it wasn’t, he answered my question and I was left to nod and smile as I turned and went back to my table. What exactly is a good way to approach a guy who skipped the “Get A Pair” line in the creation stage?
So here are my questions to you guys: What do you think about the above lessons? Do you have any to add? What is your most successful way to approach a guy who is to much of a pussy to do it on his own?